Conquering 2011
Take charge. Find what you love. And count your blessings.

By Terri Akman

Joe Fermano loves to tell stories about the people he meets and how they have made the most of their lives. He shares his stories on his radio show, “How to Use Your Life” (1360 AM), and through his regular email blasts, called “Daily Dose.” His message: See the bright side of life. Even when times seem tough, he says, there’s reason to think good times lie ahead.

What is the most important advice to help people remain positive, especially in difficult times?
Count your blessings and not your problems. It’s human nature to complain about what’s wrong. But there’s always something you can be grateful for and there’s always someone else who has a problem that’s larger than yours. The sooner you get over yourself and realize that unless you can change whatever it is you’re going through, you’re wasting time. Find something each day to be grateful for because the better you feel about yourself, the better you do during your day.

What advice do you have for someone who has lost a job?
Do everything you can to be positive, especially when you’re going on interviews or making contacts. If you don’t feel it, act like you feel it, no matter what happened to you. Convince yourself that this is only an obstacle, and obstacles are things we see when we take our eyes off our goals. The more positive and confident you are about yourself, the better you will do because people want to be around positive people. And the only way you’re going to get a job is through people.

Can you share a story of someone who conquered adversity?
I have a friend who was out of work for almost two years. He had worked in an industry for over 32 years and rose up in the organization to make a six-figure salary. He was married and was raising three children. Suddenly the company said they were closing within 48 hours. There was no severance package – nothing. It completely uprooted him; he was blindsided. After about 60 days of feeling sorry for himself he realized he enjoyed working with his hands. When people heard he was out of work, they’d ask him to come help with household projects. He ultimately developed his own business, and now he has a very good handyman business. He’s not making as much as it took him 32 years to make, but he’s happier and more joyful. I saw this guy – who was the nicest guy in the world – go into a cocoon, but then he took what he enjoyed doing and made it into a business.

What do you think is the toughest challenge for people to overcome?
Negativity, believing things never go right for you. We worry too much about what other people are thinking. It’s a lack of self-confidence. That which you can see and believe, you can achieve.

How important is family support for someone facing difficult times?
It’s absolutely important, but you have to be strong enough to support yourself as much as you possibly can. It’s wonderful to have emotional and moral support, but you don’t want it to be a crutch. Friends and family can be enablers. They mean well, but sometimes those closest to you protect you the most and that hurts you the most.

You love one-line quotes. What’s your favorite?
“Service is the rent we pay for our space on earth.” To me, if you want compassion in your life, be compassionate. If you want a good friend, be a good friend. You have to give away what you want.'

You talk about people playing “roles” in their daily lives, and the importance of figuring out who we really are. Why is that so important?
Some people never do that. They get stuck because their life is defined by what they think other people want them to do. For example, you had to be the good son or daughter and become the professional doctor, when your real love is horticulture. We all have roles that we must play every day – parent, spouse, breadwinner – but that doesn’t have to define you. And is it up to you to make sure it doesn’t. Who you are is what you get the most joy from. Everybody has something inside that brings youjoy. That makes you better in everything you do.

What is your role?
I believe my gift is to inspire people to believe in themselves by sharing stories they can relate to. I took on the role of information-gatherer.

How did you become a motivational speaker?
Almost ten years ago, I had a love of books and one-line quotes. At the time I was working in the financial industry and my co-workers wanted me to share my enthusiasm about the books I read. I felt the need to be an information-gatherer, and that led to people asking me to come and talk. I began sending out a quote once a day to people who wanted to receive it.

Looking ahead to 2011, what do you see as the most important things each of us should tackle in our personal lives?
You need to be more fiscally responsible. A lot of cracks in relationships and families come from financial strife. We live above our means, and we should take an accounting of the things we purchase. It’s refreshing to detach yourself from things. Start with your closets and your basement. Ask yourself what areas you’re spending money on. It’s very comforting to not have any financial problems.

Then, become a person who wants to serve. Be a person who wants to volunteer in your community and who is open to helping others. It’s the cycle of service. It comes back to you. That’s not your intent, we all know that, but it always does.